Welcome to my first 2-part blog!  If you didn’t read or you need to re-read Part 1, just scroll down the page to find the previous week’s blog.  And, due to popular demand, I’ve added a follow me button (on the left) so you’ll get these blogs hot off the press!   Well now, where were we?

Let’s start in San Francisco.  Old woman struggling with a shopping cart.  I rush in to help, because someone had to do it.  I grabbed the cart……

……It was actually quite heavy and I could only imagine how difficult her daily trek through the city must have been.  I pulled the cart back up on the curb, and set it next to the traffic light so it wouldn’t roll back into the street.  Although I didn’t expect anything of a gratuitous nature in return for this deed, I was caught off guard by the death stare I received!  I guess she didn’t like me touching her things.  I hurriedly rejoined my group to escape the fuming woman.  As I glanced back to see if she had finished her tantrum, my heart sank.  She was struggling with the cart again, trying to get it away from the traffic light and off the curb because some misguided woman, determined to do a good deed, had moved the cart in the opposite direction of where she was going!

As for the lost dog……

The dog’s tag indicated that the phone number and address were not  local. I feared that this poor doggie had been left behind by some visiting relatives who didn’t check to see if Sparky made it  into the car before they journeyed home.  On to plan B; call the owner, from my phone, which was attached to the wall, at my house (80’s-no cell phone).  I headed back home with two dogs in tow……..wait, make that one dog.  Our new companion had stopped dead in his tracks. He must have been really frightened, being so far from home!  I only had one leash so in order to complete this mission I had to carry this overweight, mangy little beast, to my house, about 2 miles away.

I called the number on the tag, and told the owner that I was unfamiliar with the address.  She told me the address was incorrect, gave me the new one, and offered directions.  “No thanks,” I said, “I know exactly where that is.”  I loaded the dog into the car and drove to the new address…….right back to where I had picked him up! The owner came outside, cigarette still in hand (remember her?) and asked, “Where’d you find him?  He normally doesn’t wander too far down the street.”  Poor little Scruffy!  He was actually trying to tell us something when he stopped following us!  I sheepishly confessed that in my attempt to help this dog get home, I had essentially kidnapped her 4-legged smoking buddy just a few doors down from her house. Feeling more than a little embarrassed, I skulked back to my car.  And then, maybe as her way of cheering me up, she called out, “Thank you for bringing him back.  I guess I should update the tag.  You’re the second person that’s done this!”

So what do these harmless and somewhat humorous tales have in common?  I consider them “epic fails,” not because of the results, but for my misguided intentions.  I acted because I felt I “had to.” I know I’m not alone when I say that many of our decisions and/or calls to action in life can be based on “have to” mentality.  Those instances when I would begrudgingly take on causes and then disparage or regret having stepped in, were creating turmoil and confusion in my life.

It wasn’t until I had a random encounter with Pastor Ral in the lobby of my church that I gained valuable insight on the matter of “how does one know when and how to get involved?”  I needed wise discernment, and Ral delivered.  Of course he suggested that  I pray about it  :).  He then went on to say that when the problem or situation becomes such a burden on your heart that it is overwhelming (in a good way), you’ll know.  His exact words were far more eloquent, but because I failed to write down exactly what he said, I’ve given you my Reader’s Digest version. His wise counsel gave me the spiritual tool I needed to carefully examine my intentions, and to know where my time and energy would best be served.

My new perspective helped me to realize that the “have to” applies to the situation, not to my response.  The world is full of problems that “have to” be solved, and I will either “want to,” or “not want to” act based upon how the burden affects my heart. It’s okay to say no, it doesn’t mean I don’t care.  My “not want to” will be someone else’s “want to” and I need to remember that. God cares about all things, all the time and His perfect plan for us has been in motion for quite some time now. He certainly doesn’t need me to hurry things along.  He also doesn’t want me to respond to Him with a “have to” attitude.  Even when I faced the most important decision I’ve ever made in my life, my choice to follow Jesus, it needed to come from a “want to” attitude for it to have meaning.

Now I don’t always have complete clarity, especially in those smaller, less time consuming situations, but the feeling of “have to” has greatly dissipated. And I probably won’t stop helping someone struggling with a shopping cart….but I will ask if and how I can be of service.  As for stray dogs, I have learned to practice great restraint and discernment on how to help them…(stop laughing). Okay, okay.  The truth is I have been told by my husband, friends, and the city of Vacaville (no more than 4 dogs in city limits), that I have met my civic duty, and I am no longer permitted to adopt any more stray dogs……unless God wants me to! 🙂

What a thrill it is to be writing again!  I have so many stories stashed in notebooks and diaries throughout my house.  It’s nice to have one central place for them to reside now!  Thank you all for the encouraging words, technical feedback, dog training tips, and therapist referrals!  I am so excited to start this journey with you!

Have you ever felt that it is your duty to fix every problem you encounter?  Through the years I have seen a pattern in my life in which I jump right in and start helping, often stretching resources (time and/or money), under the pretext of doing the “right thing.”  It’s not a bad thing to want to help…….unless you’re actually making things worse.  Then I wondered, “how do you know when to help, and how much to help?”  Let me share with you now a few excerpts from the epic fail chapter of my life and what I’ve learned since then.

Several years ago, I attended a Women of Faith conference in San Francisco.  Each night, the streets were filled with hundreds of spiritually-fed women, exiting from the conference center.  Among these happy, upbeat, Christian pedestrians were the usual denizens of urban blight; the homeless, the mentally ill, and the not-so-approachable vagrants.  The contrast in these populations was evident in their countenance and appearance.  Even more so when you factor in the lack of interaction between said populations.  I spotted an elderly woman who seemed to be struggling with a shopping cart that was overflowing with her closely guarded treasures. So many people were just walking past her, seemingly oblivious to her plight.  That’s when that little voice in my head starting yelling at me.  “Why aren’t we doing something to help these people?  We’re Christians!  We should be helping them….right now!”  I guess it was up to me to set the example, and get this Christian lovefest going.  Without hesitation, I left my group of friends, and strolled over to her, grabbed her cart, and said, “let me help you with that.”

Pause.  I’ll get back to San Francisco in a moment.  Let’s switch gears a little as I take you back about 20+ years to yet another example in this life chapter:

I was walking my dog, Max, on an unusually warm afternoon.  Instead of our normal route, I was feeling a little adventurous so we crossed the main drag, wandering into an unfamiliar neighborhood a few miles away from my house.  I realize this may not sound the least bit adventurous to a younger crowd, but we gen-xers know that a lone woman walking a dog in a strange ‘hood in the late 80’s could be very dangerous.  If something unforeseen had happened, it’s not like I could whip out my iPhone, Siri my way over to the nearest Starbucks, and relay my near-death experience to all of my SnapChat homies.  But I digress.

It was during this long walk, that we met up with a scruffy, but friendly little mutt, who started to follow us.  We started walking up and down the street to see if our new friend might be inclined to show us where he lived.  He just kept following us.  As we turned to walk away, I noticed a woman coming out of her house and I thought perhaps that help was on the way. Thank goodness.  It was getting pretty warm and I was ready to cut this walk short.  No such luck.  She glanced at us, but didn’t say anything,  then proceeded to light a cigarette. She was obviously not in a state of panic over a missing dog, and didn’t call after me as I walked away, with my new canine groupie. She took a few drags from her cigarette, turned around, and went back inside.  It was now up to me to get Fido home.  Fortunately for us, he had an ID tag, with a phone number and address.  Now Max and I could escort our little tag-a-long to his home and all would be well…….

Let’s stop here for a moment.  Both of these events happened about 20 years apart and yet somehow I find that their life lessons mesh well together.  Perhaps this will make more sense when I divulge their conclusions……….which I’ll post next week.  Sorry, I just really, really, want you to come back!

While I was reflecting on these stories, I discovered that they really do have many lessons and patterns in common.  Yes, my figurative and literal dogly worlds collided, yet again, and provided spiritual growth!  I also came to understand the wise counsel I received several years ago from my pastor when I asked him the same questions I mentioned at the beginning of this blog.  Come back next week as I share this life changing pastoral guidance and the drastically different, yet strikingly similar conclusions to these stories.

Welcome to my dogly world!  This was the best way to describe the way I view the world, both figuratively and literally. The dogs in my life have often served as muses for some of my thoughts and theories about this crazy, scary world.  However, it is God who truly gives me the guidance I need to live among His creations, man and beast, and to look beyond this dogly world we live in and find the joy.  I hope you will be encouraged and amused by my ponderings.  And please note, this blog is not just about dogs, and it really doesn’t matter if you like them (but I kinda hope you do).

Moses (the pirate dog pictured above) has an anxiety problem.  I don’t know how he got that way, but I suspect his life on the run (he was a stray/rescue) and immersion into a new environment and family proved too traumatic for him. It didn’t take long for his many “issues” to unfold.  High pitched barking at imaginary voices, attacking all floor cleaning appliances, running away from home, and heightened anxiety when we have company, were just a few of his special gifts.   We tried to correct these behaviors with consistent training and discipline.  Uhmm, well, with consistent training.   Well, maybe not so consistent.  Okay, okay.  We kept it up for a week and then gave up.  So we opted to just accept him “as is” and buy the little guy a sweater.   After all, dressing up for the holidays is a fine way to improve self-esteem and build confidence (and the sweater was 50% off).  Poor Moses.  He was about as interested in making a fashion statement as we were in reading “The Idiot’s Guide to Dog Psychiatry.” To Moses, this ill-fitting, not-in-his-color-wheel, sweat blanket was really, “the Sweater of Shame.”

Maybe it was because we chuckled.  Maybe it was because we commented on “how handsome him look.”  Perhaps it was the way his pack stared at him with their heads cocked to one side.  Whatever the reason, Moses was transformed.  He stopped jumping up on people, stopped biting their hands to get them to pet him, and by all accounts, he seemed calmer.  He also began staring at walls, shifting his ears downward, and hanging his head, avoiding all eye contact.  Hmmm…..a small price to pay for tranquility in my book.  We do get a laugh at how he thinks the sweater limits his ability to move about and interact with the rest of the pack (our 3 other mutts).  After all, it’s just a sweater!  But to Moses, it’s a force field that inhibits movement, and for all intents and purposes may as well be a straight-jacket.  It also seems to be a source of humiliation for him, as the alpha dog, to be hindered in such a way, in front of his pack.

Watching Moses behave this way got me thinking about my own perceived limitations and how I have handicapped myself with my own “Sweater of Shame.”  Fear.  Through the years, my sweater has prevented me from doing some of life’s most basic tasks, and has created immense anxiety and hesitation.  My “sweater” has robbed me of so much joy and I think it has been a source of embarrassment for me as well.  I want to be this courageous and confident role model for my pack, but this sweater just gets in the way.  Luckily for Moses, his canine super powers are restored once the sweater comes off.  Mine, not so much.  Mostly because I can’t get the darned thing off!  I’ve only recently come to the realization, that once you allow your sweater to cling this tightly to you, it’s time to ask for help to take it off.  It was time to put down my weapons of do-it-in-your-own-strength (crowbars, scissors, matches), and start using the power tools provided by my faith.  God’s word and promises and the wonderful church and people he has surrounded me with can certainly help me take the steps necessary to remove this barrier.  Please note, you should probably have your pastor and friends read this blog before you ask them to help you “remove your sweater” – it may not translate well!  This blog is my way of taking that leap of faith to act on something that has long been on my heart, but held captive under my sweater!  You are witnessing step one of conquering my fears, and letting those voices in my head come out to play (did I mention those?).  Today my sweater comes off!

As for Moses, unless he can learn how to self-soothe, or write his own blog, he will have to suffer through the remainder of his life clothed in the Martha Stewart collection from Petsmart.  I hear her Spring line is fabulous!